


Feral Child

by JustaBluebird



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Feral Akechi Goro, Gen, Horror, Kid Akechi Goro, Shadow negotiations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29181441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustaBluebird/pseuds/JustaBluebird
Summary: Shortly before his eighth birthday, Goro found his mom dead on the floor of their apartment. Moments later he found himself in the Metaverse for the first time with no way to leave.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

Shortly before his eighth birthday Goro came home from school to find his mother’s too cold corpse on their apartment floor. Her unnatural sprawl across the hardwood shocked him into stillness, and then into sudden movement as he rushed to her side and grabbed at her blouse, as though she had just fallen asleep there and just needed to be shaken awake. 

The blood barely dripped from her slit wrists, but it soaked into his school uniform just the same from where it had gotten all over her clothes and puddled onto the floor beneath her. Goro sobbed. Gasping, he managed to unclench his fingers from her blouse and started searching her pockets, trying to find her prepaid smartphone. The fabric stuck together as he fumbled. He found the phone in her jacket pocket and tried to, and failed, to control his hiccuping sobs.

Part of him already knew it was too late, but his heart would not accept it.

Blood smeared across the smartphone's glass screen as he tried to pull up the phone keys. It was all sticky, the film of blood causing the screen to misread his fingerprint. The backlight glowing though his mother's blood, as he would later discover, looked a little bit like the eternal evening sun of the red Metaverse sky.

The phone didn't seem to care about what Goro wanted. His eyes blurred from tears as he kept trying to select the phone icon. Instead, an app popped up. An eye glowed through the red screen, an accidental hit as he fumbled? But before he could try to close it the world twisted and suddenly he was not in their apartment.

His mothers body was gone. Instead, he was surrounded by twists of red and black, a nightmare world with deep shadows that seemed to move. The phone slipped through his fingers and smacked against the ground. Goro scrambled for it, tried to turn it on, but the screen was ruined. The phones backlighting only emphasized the shattered glass and dead pixels. Tapping the screen did nothing. He couldn't call for help. 

Goro cried and he scrunched into a ball on the floor. 

“I wanna go home.” Goro begged. “I want my mom.”

The phone didn’t respond. 

\-------------------------------------

Hours turned to days turned to months, and Goro felt he was starting to understand this strange world he was now in. The Metaverse, as he heard some of the Shadows say, is a qsudo-Tokyo. A lonely dark mirror of reality bathed in blood red and endless black. 

He didn’t have many things here. Counting it up, he had clothes he he had been wearing, which he washes in a pond but has never fully got the bloodstains out. His secondhand Randoseru school backpack that he hadn’t taken off when he got home from school that dark day. The things inside the bag - some pencils, school workbooks, a plastic thermos, and the authentic Phoenix Ranger Featherman R toy ray gun his mom gifted him that he always brought with him everywhere. He also had his mom’s phone, though it has died fairly quickly from being used as a light on his first day in the Metaverse. He hasn't found a way to charge the phone since.

There was food in the supermarkets, nothing fresh as there were no shopkeepers to tend to it, which made sense to Goro, but plenty of canned food and dry goods. None of the food restocked, at least that he could remember, so Goro tended to wander. 

Goro has had a lot of time to think in this empty world. About this place, and his mom, and why he is here. The Metaverse is a demon world, he is sure of it. The Shadows that wander around whispering terrible things to themselves confirmed it. Also, he was sent here after his mom killed herself. It had to be related. 

He knew why she died.

His mom loved him, he knew that. He knew it in the way she hugged him, the way she gently helped him with his homework, the way she surprised him with the Featherman ray gun that he really wanted but cost _way too much_. She must have scraped and saved for a long time to get it for him.

Sometimes though, he heard her talking to herself. About the man, his father, who ruined her life. About how she hates her job, tending to clients in their apartment while Goro gets sent to the bathhouse for hours. About how she was something in college, bright and clever and going places, and she lost it all because of that man. Goro knows what she means by that. She lost it all because she got pregnant with him. 

Goro knows his mom loved him, but sometimes, when he told her that he loved her she would stare at him and not say it back. 

His mom suffered because of Goro. So much so that had to kill herself just to escape him. It wasn’t her fault, how could she have known she would give birth to a demon child? He was a literal curse on her by his very nature, no matter how much he tried or how much he loved. His father was probably a demon too, as he was the one that cursed her.

He belonged here, with the other monsters. Some being or fate sending him here once it realized what a grave mistake had been made allowing him to exist in the real world. He only wished it had realized it sooner, so his mom would still be alive. 

This was his punishment. 

This was his true home.


	2. Chapter 2

The other demons in the Metaverse, the Shadows, mostly left Goro alone. Most of them looked like blobs with masks, slowly pulling themselves along oblivious to the world around them. At first he hid from those shadows, but after a few times of accidentally getting too close and getting no reaction, he relaxed. A few years into his stay in Mementos and Goro stepped over and around these Shadows without thinking, even rested and ate with some only a few feet away. 

Of course, sometimes he stumbled into the Shadows or stepped on them without realizing. It was only a matter of time seeing how long he stayed in the Metaverse. Whenever that happened the Shadows would twist into new form and snap at him. Sometimes they turned into fluttering pixies or floating green horses, or even ghosts with jack-o-lanterns for heads and capes. The first time it happened a woman with translucent and twirly butterfly wings twisted into existence.

Her eyes narrowed and she sent a zap of electricity at him. It stung like static electricity but stronger. Goro scrambled for his ray gun and pointed it at the demon, trying to scare it away. His hands trembled. 

“Stay away or I’ll shoot!” 

But the Shadow came closer, hands starting to spark with more electricity. Goro pulled the trigger on the ray gun, maybe the lights and noise would scare it-

But the ray gun actually fired a laser. It hit the pixie straight in the chest and she fell backwards. 

“Ouch!” She said. “Hey, if someone is going to shoot me, I would rather it be a beautiful woman!” She glared at Goro from her place on the floor.

“S-sorry?”

“You should be.” She replied. She cocked her head to the side as she observed Goro for a moment, then got up and twisted away back into nothingness, and Goro was alone. 

She was far from the first Shadow Goro talked to. All of them seemed to have strange ways of speaking or thinking, but Goro quickly got used to the cant. The human-like ones had aggressive conversations that trailed in random directions. The brawly monster-like ones with their “Me eat”s and “Me want”s. Finally, the fun focused ghost-like ones who threw as many “hee” and “ho”s into their sentences as they could. Sometimes they would leave him random objects when they left, like dirty clothes or yen. The clothes were useful, though they were always too big. The yen, as good as shiny rocks in the demon world, just piled up in a corner of a room he uses to store things. Goro sometimes wondered where they even got it from. 

But even if it was nice to talk to someone after so long, it was still safer if he never interacted with the demons...true forms? While he could sometimes talk to them before they attacked, more often than not they would get a hit in before he could do so. It hurt, and there was no doctor here to treat his burns or cuts. Stitching up his own cuts using needles he found at a pharmacy was something he wanted to do as little as possible. 

The blob Shadows were easier to deal with. Quiet, calm, and willing to skitter away if he used the right body language. A bit of growling and making himself bigger, as well as hitting or stomping the ground to make noise, and most of the smaller blobs would pull themselves away so Goro could have some space. 

There was one place that the Shadows always noticed him though. A place that Goro did his best to avoid. The subway.

The subway entrance was foreboding, arching into the sky with spikes of lampposts and an unsettling fog. Just being near the entrance made the hairs stand up on the back of his neck, more so than the rest of Mementos. The shadows were always agitated here, and would growl and chase him away if he was spotted near the entrance. 

He sometimes saw Shadows enter into the depths of the subway, disappearing into the darkness, but he never saw them come out.


	3. Chapter 3

It’s hard to tell the passage of time in the Metaverse. There are no nights, no days, just endless evening. Goro’s routine is need based. He rests when he is tired, eats when he is hungry, explores or works on projects when he is bored. When he first got here he was almost eight, but now months and years are meaningless, incalculable even if he tried. But it has been a long time and he is larger now, the used clothes the Shadows sometimes leave coming very in handy as he outgrew the clothes he came here in. Comparing his original clothes to his current size makes them seem comically small.

Sewing quickly became a mandatory skill to have. To repair tears, to get the rags he acquires to fit better. There is something satisfying in making something permanent too. Maybe it is better to calculate time in projects he completes. 

The age of home establishment, with sub time periods of making a futon and pillow, designing a clothing drying rack the blob Shadows could not reach, and establishing a pantry. 

The age of heated baths, where he tracked down a metal container that could be used as a bathtub and built a fire pit to sit it on top of. 

The age of baking, where he spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out how to make cookies without any milk, butter, or eggs before giving up.

So many projects. What must have been so many years. 

It’s not a perfect way of calculating time. After all, there are many projects he did at the same time as others, like mapping the Metaverse or repairing clothes, but it’s stabilizing when faced with endlessness. Though the nature of the Metaverse is calming in its own way too, there is no need to rush here, he has all the time in the world.

A while back he started getting creative with his clothing. The fabric he got was the same colors as the rest of the Metaverse, red and black, but while the red was always the same vivid blood red, the blacks came in different shades. Deep void blacks, warmer yellow blacks, lighter blacks that could almost be called grey when put next to the others. With this variance he could make layers, patterns. 

He was particularly proud when he figured out how to make smooth diagonal stripes, a visually simple pattern that took way more planning and skill than he first anticipated. He first had to design a pattern that would fit him, then plan even and straight sections for the stripes, and finally add extra fabric to each stripe so he could actually sew it together and keep it the same size. It took awhile to actually get something that he could put on and didn't look like a wobbly puckered mess of fabric, but that just made it more satisfying when it finally worked. 

So what if he messed up the seam allowances sometimes and the clothing came out a bit tighter than he planned? As long as it was comfortable he didn’t really care. 

Part of him wanted to blend in with the other Shadows too. It was quick to add black capes to his outfit, which was both cool and when he wore it over his backpack and crouched down it gave him a bit of an elongated form that looked a bit like a blob Shadow. He wanted to add a white mask to complete the look, but there was a distinct lack of white in the Metaverse. Instead, he made a headband with demon horns, a different way of declaring his nature. He was having fun. 

And if looking more like a demon made him feel more connected to the Shadows, more like he belonged here, then that was just a positive side effect.


	4. Chapter 4

There came a time when Goro’s voice cracked and changed, warbling as he talked to himself or to the shadows wandering around. Then that time passed and his voice settled into a smooth tone only roughened by the sharp patterns of Shadow speak. 

There periodically came times when Goro became exhausted. He would sit and stare into the unchanging distance as the world continued to remain unchanged around him. Eventually he would become too hungry to continue sitting there and move on. 

It was during one of these times, when Goro couldn't get the energy to do much of anything, that he was startled into awakeness by a change in the Metaverse.

The blob shadows were scrambling to get away from something, running into objects and each other in their haste. That… was not normal. Sometimes Goro got the Shadows to run away from him when he wanted some space, but never so many would run, not so desperately or so far, unless…

“So Morgana, anything look familiar yet?”

They were running from a Shadow close by. Goro scrambled for cover as three humanoid-looking Shadows wearing masks and one animal-looking one turned the corner. Hidden behind a partition wall, Goro watched as one of the humanoid Shadows, one with a black cloak and red gloves, jumped onto a fleeing shadow and ripped off its mask, causing it to turn to dust immediately. 

Goro’s breath stuttered. 

“Hmm,” said the animal-looking one, which seemed a bit like a cat walking on two legs. “No, I don’t remember this place either. I really think we have to go back to Mementos and try to reach the bottom.” 

“But we can’t get any deeper right now.” The skull mask one complained. By the sound of his voice he was the one who talked first. 

“It’s not like doing this is helping though.” The cat Shadow replied. 

The one dressed in red with cat ears replied next. “Come on Mona, isn’t it good to rule this out? Just a bit longer and we will call it a day ok?”

“O-of course Lady Ann!”

The red gloved one ripped off the mask of another blob Shadow. It’s arms flailed for purchase before it disintegrated into nothingness. 

Goro’s hands shook. He slowly reached for his ray gun.

Mona’s, Morgana’s?, ear twitched. It paused and sniffed the air. “Hey guys, I think something strange is nearby…”

“Strange?” The red gloved one said, pausing from his hunt to turn towards the cat. “Like a treasure?”

“No. I would think it’s a powerful shadow, but that does not seem right…” 

“A powerful Shadow?” The skull mask one said. “Do you think it will drop a lot of money? Wait that’s not important, we should get ready for a fight right?” 

Goro needed to leave. Clutching his ray gun Goro started to shift backwards. He glanced over the strange group (why are they wandering around in their real form? And why is the red gloved one so aggressive? Are they actually all monster-type shadows even though they look humanoid?) and his eyes caught-

The red gloved one was staring right at him. Goro froze.

“Huh?” the one called Lady Ann said, noticing the red gloved Shadow’s gaze. “Is something there?”

The red gloved Shadow continued to stare at Goro.

The Skull masked one spotted Goro as well. “Wait, is that a human?!”

“He doesn’t smell like one, but he doesn’t _not_ smell like one.” Mona frowned and crossed his paws. 

“Red eyes ain’t exactly normal either.” commented skull mask.

“Well, he doesn't have yellow eyes so...maybe he is like Jose?” Lady Ann proposed. 

This was bad. Goro didn’t want to bet on being able to fight all of them at once. They seemed like they liked to talk, but also like they wanted to fight too and were just looking for an excuse. Negotiations like this are dangerous. They seem happy, so maybe a cheery response is right. But the brawlyness, maybe they want a response in kind? Or a statement of friendship? With the masks and cloaks they look a bit like the ghost-like demons, maybe using “hee-ho’s” in his speech will make them happy? Do they want him to bluff up his strength or-”

“Do you like coffee?” asked the red gloved one. 

“Me-hee eat you whole!” Goro rushed out, eyes wide. 

There was a pause.

“Dude,” skull mask said. “What the eff?” 

Red gloves smirked. “Nice to meet you ho, but you shouldn't eat between meals. Hey, lets play a game, guess what I wanna eat?”

The cat startles “What kind of response is that?!”  
Goro focused on red gloves. Question and answer is something he knows how to do. The Shadow seemed playful so maybe… “H-hamburgers?”

“Oh that sounds good too.” red gloves replied. “My name is Joker, do you live here?”

“Yes?” Goro glanced at the other shadows before looking back to Joker. “Sorry, but I want you to go hee-home now....”

“Hmm… ok. But only if you tell me your name.”

Skull mask startles “Wait, you're just agreeing?!”

This was an opportunity Goro couldn't pass up. Turning down a Shadow after they already agree to something usually makes them furious too. 

“...Me Goro.”

Joker eyes unfocus for a moment before they snap back to Goro. Joker smiles. “Nice to meet you Goro, I'll see you next time ok?” Joker pulls out a thermos and gently places it on the ground, before gathering his protesting fellow Shadows and directing them back the way they came. 

Goro waited a moment, two, before slinking out from where he was hidden. The thermos was not warm to the touch, but opening the lid revealed still warm...coffee? Goro’s mind sluggishly pulled up memories of his mom brewing it in a cheap plastic coffee maker, the slightly burnt smell of it wafting through the kitchen. This coffee didn’t smell quite the same. 

Goro took a tentative sip and nearly spit it out. The taste was startling, but after a moment he decided it was not exactly bad. The more he sipped at the drink the more he liked it.

Capping the drink for the moment, Goro followed where the strange Shadows went, which was not exactly hard by how loud they were. He kept his distance, and watched from a hidden place when they casually, and without care, walked into the subway.


End file.
